Sep 30, 2010

Toenails

Song of the Day: Agalloch - Our Fortress is Burning 2 - Bloodbirds


I've been pondering for awhile about bodily functions and have come to the conclusion that toenails are obsolete. We've come up with secondary uses for them, like scratching your leg when your hands are full or painting them with polish; however I cannot think of a single primary use for toenails in humans.
All mine do are sit around in my socks and get ingrown every once in a while. Please educate me to a use for them, if you've discovered one.


I thoroughly enjoyed this picture(click to open in full size for best viewing):

Ridiculous Food

Song of the Day: Cherry Poppin' Daddies - Drunk Daddy


I was randomly searching and came across this recipe on an image board's archive site. Its 58 steps long and takes about a month to create. Although I would never dare make it, it is good for a read.
Bacon Leviathan (NSFW)

Please comment if you know any other Ridiculous Food recipes.

Todays image is dedicated to my flatmate Phil:


Sep 29, 2010

Dumb Things You've Heard

Song of the Day: Dear Mama


Speaking of dumb people(from the last post)...
I was hanging out with my Friend Liam and his friend Jess (who was not know for her brains). She said something idiotic and Liam replied with a hearty "You're so obtuse Jess".
When asked what obtuse meant, Liam (being the smartass he is) went to get the dictionary for her and told her the definition.
Obtuse: Lacking intelligence or being insensitive.
Without batting an eye, she replied "But I'm not insensitive!"

What dumb things have you heard out of someone's mouth? Please leave a comment.

For your viewing pleasure, Arnie's Cookbook:

Sep 28, 2010

Education

Song of the Day: Bitches Ain't Shit


Theres too many people in this world that just cruise through life. I used to be one of them. Too long was I self-induced into an education coma, bought on by drugs, alcohol and apathy.
I've started reading the newspaper, because i'm tired of knowing little about the world. The media, throughout their flaws such as bias and money-grabbing, provide an essential service of spreading information throughout the world. I generally skip to the World sections, because the news in New Zealand is only interesting if you like murder or politics.

I asked my co-worker what she thought of Kim Jong-il being suceeded, only to recieve a blank stare. I asked her what she thought of North Korea, and recieved the reply "that's in Tibet right?"

You've got to be educated, because you don't want to look like a dumb bitch.

Also:

Sep 27, 2010

Media

Song of the Day: Dance This Mess Around


Don't order coffee after 4pm.
Don't talk about the weather.
Don't name your daughter Chris.
Eat Sauerkraut.

Tu MirĂ¡

Sep 25, 2010

Alfalfa Sprout

Have you ever pondered about the mystery surrounding Alfalfa Sprout?
The way he moves, Alfalfa Sprout, slinking and spinning and swimming about.
He moves in time and sings devine this great green ghost of lime.
So fine, so fine, so fine in lime, his ego explodes in nines.
Alfalfa Sprout, there is no doubt of your double-faced broom draw
And your slinky stinky tail, to which I saw "nevermore!"
"You will be mine, a trout sublime,
I will get you with my claws"
Alfalfa Sprout, mouth of clout and never any time.

So he draws them near, never in fear, of fetid metal claw.
He plays to the windsire and prays to the trees in the sun-light magic moar.

He plays to the fantons
Mr Spirridk Spuranden
Par-lays to the parlaps
Raised home dome with meat flaps
Parties with the foonpats
Mystical hood rats
and stays with the treelog
Home of Nester the Warthog

Alfalfa Sprout, you mighty trout, you know what life's all about.
but when I go to buy your lessons, the bookstore is all sold out.